Peace

 

Image by Myriams-Fotos from Pixabay

Peace is probably the most important thing to me at this stage of my life. Far too many years were spent in chaos, fear, uncertainty, dread. Nobody should live like that and the effects can be catastrophic on one’s physical and mental health.

Life is very peaceful now and I am so grateful. Not perfect peace, as that’s impossible with the stressors of day to day life, but comparative peace. Achieving this feeling of peace hasn’t been easy. I’m an anxious people pleaser, perfectionist, and have been genuinely afraid of many people and situations in my life. But, little by little, I’ve learned to let go of people and situations that do not serve me well, to value myself, to recognize my own needs and feelings, and to realize that the world will not end if I am truly kind to myself.

The festive season can be an incredibly stressful time of year, but it doesn’t have to be that way. I love to make occasions special for my dearest ones and to spoil them in any way I can. The reality is, though, that much of what I used to do during the Christmas season wasn’t important to them. They appreciated my effort and the thought behind it, but the only one who really cared about whether or not it happened was me. Ah.

I still make an effort to make the holiday season special, but am much more respectful of my energy limits. “Good enough” has become my standard, rather than some bizarre level of unobtainable perfection. We have two trees and whether I put up the smaller or larger one depends on my energy level. I still feel a bit of guilt when I opt for the small one, as I have this year, but that passes. It’s four feet of sparkle and beauty and makes us happy, so more than “good enough”. The postal strike this season cancelled the sending of Christmas cards, so preparations have been even simpler than usual. I do miss the cards as it has always been an important part of Christmas for me, but I definitely wouldn’t say that the Season has been spoiled by their absence. Christmas treats don’t all have to be homemade. Christmas dinner can be simplified and still be really special. Gift giving doesn’t have to be a financial burden or taxing in any way, and on the list goes.

I wish you peace in all seasons, but especially during this festive time of year. Peace on Earth also remains my fervent wish, no matter how elusive that peace might seem in these troubled times. I still believe in the good in humanity, and that good will eventually triumph over evil, no matter how bleak things might seem at a given moment.

The Peace of Wild Things by Wendell Berry

When despair for the world grows in me and I wake in the night at the least sound in fear of what my life and my children’s lives might be, I go and lie down where the wood drake rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds. I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief.  I come into the presence  of still water. And I feel above me the day-blind stars waiting with their light. For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free. From The Selected Poems of Wendell Berry (Counterpoint, 1999)